hows:

ME

darrenbuttisgoodbutt:

darrenbuttisgoodbutt:

my very first date didn’t go well because we were at the movie theater and in the middle of the movie the guy just swiftly stuck his hand in my bra and cupped my boob and said “my boob” and i told him that if he ever assumed he owned part of my body again i would sell his intestines on the black market. not much has changed since i was 12

except 12 year old me could you know. get a date.

(via return-of-foreverr)

dropdeadesu:

A friend of mine just messaged me saying “I fucked up. I was doing math with my son, and I told him to ‘hold up eleven fingers’ and he started to panic and I didn’t realize why until he screamed ‘MOM…MOM I ONLY HAVE TEN”

(via return-of-foreverr)

mattressblowoutsale:

Adult things arent NEARLY as complex as I thought they were growing up I just walked into bank of america and said im here to open a checking account and they said ok and opened me a checking account

(via d-frank)

operate:

cravings:

when a teacher asks me a question and demands a super quick answer

image

 

(Source: cravings, via imperfectionxfeels)

so-humorous:

OMG
badbilliejean:

femaleseahorse:

Kinda wanna be bald again. Kinda about to shave my shit off.

Goddess.
blasianxbri:

fightxtoxdream:

sirmoore:

respect each other.

Basically what I said in that text post. This shit needs to stop

amen.

f-ftw:

earthdad:

When you’re holding hands with someone and they rub your thumb with their thumb is what I live for

Finger rubs, the best

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